Bk1: Ch3: Pg8
Gus: Why don't you take a moment and see if Maeye is OK. We'll try to clean this up.
Arayanna: Thank you.
2.
Arayanna: Come. We can step in here.
3a.
Arayanna: Let's get his cleaned up now.
Arayanna: It does not appear that anything is broken. Are you alright?
3b.
Maeye. Yes, I will be fine.
Arayanna: Good...
Arayanna: In that case...
4.
Arayanna: Are you out of your bloody mind!!!
Ryder: Sounds like somebody's getting a bit of a spanking!
Gus: In your dreams.
Ryder: Anyone who says they ain't been dreaming about that is eother a liar or a fool.
5a.
Arayanna: What were you thinking? You could have gotten yourself killed!
Maeye: I know. I'm sorry.
5b.
Maeye: But that bastard killed Uncle!
5c.
Maeye: And he was the only family I had left.
6a.
Arayanna: Well... you are all I have left, too. I've lost Dun. I've lost Heimere.
Arayanna: I cannot lose you.
6b.
Arayanna: You are all I have left in the world.
Arayanna: You are all I have left in any world.
7.
Maeye: I am so sorry, Aray.
Maeye: Comere.
8a.
Maeye: How about if I let you know ahead of time if I plan to go into another revenge driven homicidal rage?
Arayanna: What more could I ask for.
8b.
Maeye: Should we go back?
Arayanna: Can we just stay here for another minute?
Maeye: Uh huh.
Maeye: Arayanna and Maeye versus the world. right?
Arayanna: Uh huh.
Brilliant.
Thank you. 🙂
Loving Aray’s face in panel eleven 😀 (not sure if it is shock or surprise to find herself down there :p), but in the next two panels she is happy 😀
Thanks! Yea – she’s like “ummmm, that’s your very naked belly….”. And then she’s like “mmmm, very naked belly.” 😀
Good to see update.
Thank you. It’s been a rough start to the year, but I hope to put a whole lot more of my time into the comic this coming year.
Hey, she still has her little spy pixie! What is she, chopped liver?
Kidding! Love the page. These moments are so sweet!
On a technical note, the word lines in the bubbles seem awfully close together. I hadn’t really noticed it before, but it popped out at me this page.
The words form clusters in the center of the speech bubbles. It’s perfectly legible, but it might look less clumped if you increase the the spacing between the dialogue lines a hair.
(Normally, I think of closely spaced verbiage like that as being indicative of someone talking really fast, but that is obviously not the case here.)
I’m guessing you probably used the close space to try and reduce the total footprint of dialogue? Anyway, it works, even if I don’t find it aesthetically to my personal taste. Gah! I probably shouldn’t have said anything.
Didn’t understand what you meant at first about the spaces, but yeah, the words are really close to each other, and doing that to save space doesn’t make sense when you look at the size of the speech bubbles and all the empty space inside them
Thank you for mentioning that. I changed the resolution of the images from 72 DPS to 96 and therefore had to change the font size. I agree the space in between needs to be increased a bit. Thanks again!
Revisiting this question, since I recently stumbled across some lettering rules.
Number three talks about leading (hey, there’s a name for it!). According to it, these pages are technically fine, but I still think it feels cramped.
Ah, well. I think all those “rules” can be ignored as circumstances dictate.
I also like how your bubbles are translucent, as it allows the art to bleed through, which makes it seem like actual speech, since talking doesn’t actually litter the landscape with white bubbles.
I’m not sure I like the result when a bubble bleeds out of panel though, such as 5 to 6, since it leaves a white bar in the middle of the bubble.
I’m not sure what would be better though…
But now I want to talk about something else. I rather like how you stepped down panels 6-8. That works well, I think. But, because of it, I have tendency to step directly from 11 to 13, since that feels like another step.
Perhaps in similar circumstances to panels 11&12, you could consider, for their right margin (that jag back and vertical drop), instead using a long slant (“/”). That might help lead the eye down.
In general I’d suggest you try to avoid tall panels, since they can’t be viewed on most computers in one piece anyway. But sometimes, like panel 13, they are just needed for the composition.
Umm, who is ‘Hemere’? Is that a person or her homeworld?
Can’t remember if it had been mentioned before
Heimere is a person. We will find out more about him later.
Mmm-mmm, loving the invotive, just have to ask: how exactly does it stay on seeing how it does have any straps? Not even between the ‘cups’
*…seeing how it does not have any straps?
Magic. 🙂 Wouldn’t you cling to Aray’s flesh if you had the chance?
Like a limpet on a rock 😀
New incentive up as per Keena’s request. 😀
I don’t know why but I felt some love between Maeya and Araya in panels 6 – 12 :-). Wouldn’t be better to put “But that bastard killed my uncle!!!” in the speech bubble of the 7th panel ? Otherwise you’d think that he was the uncle for the whole group.
Maybe, but a lot of people leave off the possessive, specially when talking with someone who knows the relationship (and no, in Real Life, people who actually were forced to take English class also very rarely speak with ‘perfect grammar’, so why should someone in a comic who probably never saw the inside of a ‘real’ school?)
The font that I use is all caps, otherwise it would have been obvious that she said Uncle – as in the name she calls him by, not the title. But yes, simply adding “my” would have removed any confusion. 🙂 Maeye has her own special language. 😀
Ah, I thought she called him by the title. Actually, I didn’t know who uncle is because I started reading your comic halfway chapter 3 not from the beginning. Now that I’ve read the whole story I understand why “my” isn’t there. Aray already knew it.
Guesticus was right, you don’t use my when you talk to someone you know.
Everyone has a special language, in the real world too. 🙂
And thank you for commenting and welcome!!
I accidentally stumbled upon you, but now I’m addicted to the charm of your characters and beautiful story.
Accidental stumbles are just as much welcomed as any other 😀
I am very happy you found us! Welcome!